Avant-Garde (vaguelyaware) wrote,

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An overdue good-bye

This is my last night here in Florence. I'll be getting into LAX around 4 pm, to no one waiting for me.
Sucks, doesn't it? My mom couldn't get the day off, my aunt is a bitch and only cares about herself that she hasn't even considered giving her assistance to my mom in any way the entire time I've been here, and no one else can get me.

My mom said she'll try her best to get to me on time, if she can. Kind of reminds me when I was younger and I would have practice and she said she would pick me up. I would always be the last person to get picked up from wherever. I hated it then, and its not any better now.
I just got off the phone with her here and I nearly cried.

This whole time I've been here, aside from the amazing place that it is, I've felt so alone on so many levels. Partially familiy stuff, and some other random shit that bothers me from time to time. This is a reason why I don't want to go home. If I go back, that means I have to face reality, deal with transfer shit, getting a job, going to classes...being home.

It just sucks on how out of the loop I am with things. How out of touch I am with the people I care about the most, and about the one person I loved the most. I pains me to see how easily they can move their life along, and how long it took me to stop being hurt and trying not to show it. How much it wore me down, akilling me soflty. Its not that I still harbor feeligns for them, its not anything like that.  Its just a little odd to see how much they have grown since the last tiem we were together.  Creating their second business, going global, being successful and simply living a life I fear that I might not ever have.

Too much. I need to get out of this funk. I need to enjoy my last day/night any which way I can. I still need to finish packing......
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